As much I love Richard Beymer, and as much as Millie hates him, at certain points in the movie I'm like, "Stop smiling with your perfect little Colgate smile and STOP KILLING PEOPLE." His group, the Jets, are equally redonk. I mean...they are supposed to be a tough New York gang, and they just wear brightly colored tight pants and prance about. "Maria" is one of my favorite songs off the soundtrack, but the scene that contains it is a little snoozeworthy. He's just strolling through some greenscreened "streets" and then WAH-LA the sky turns pink! WOW!
Anybodys is like the little Jet wannabe, who happens to be a girl with ill-fitting clothes and a botched Mia Farrow haircut. I pity her. Her fake but mighty powerful New York accent makes me giggle.
Graziella. Oh Graziella. She's Riff's number one gal. Then he dies. So she needs to milk her three lines for everything they're worth and sob to the heavens, "RII-HE-HE-FFFFFF" and bury her face in her pal Velma's arms. Then she proceeds to dance it out in a scene that MJ ripped off a few years later.
When Chino tells Maria that "He keeled your brrrother!" the music climbs into some crashing violins as he swoops away leaving the door swinging behind him. I laugh every single time. The line itself is already dramatic, but then it was like someone said "No. Something is missing. CALL LEONARD BERNSTEIN, WE NEED DRAMATIZED STRING QUARTETS"
Then Maria is in disbelief. She runs down the stairs, skirts blooming, and someone offscreen says "Bernardo muerto?" Maria clutches her head and screams. That minute long cinematic adventure is probably one of my favorites ever just because it is SO ridiculous.
I do love George Chakiris in this, though. He can stay.
PS: Thank God for Marni Nixon. This film would have tanked if she didn't step in not only for Natalie, but for Rita Moreno in a few songs.
PPS: I hope you liked my random bolded names.